GRANDMOTHER

Grandmother was a larger than life figure in our lives. She had a negative attitude toward children that stemmed from her own childhood, She use to say, somewhat cynically, that her mother, Mama Murphey, had a baby "every Saturday night." Poor Grandmother. Her father, Papa Murphy, was a rigid, over-bearing man who beat the tar out of his boys. In today's society he would have been arrested for the way he treated his children. So, Grandmother, never had any positive formation in family life. Considering what she had endured as a child it's a wonder she wasn't harder to live with. She was a conflicted personality. On the one hand she wanted to help and make things easier for mom and all of us, but on the other hand she was an enabler and resented the circumstances she found herself in, some of which she created herself.
In her heart I know she cared deeply for all of us,it just didn't always feel that way to me. Looking back I think perhaps ours was a competitive relationship. We were out numbered by males and I usually took their side. Mother was,by far, her favorite child and Grandmother never let her grow up. I was in the way. Even when mom was a mother herself she was still treated like a child by Grandmother. Mother, on the other hand, couldn't cut the apron strings and strike out on her own.
Grandmother did the best she could with what she had. Her father wouldn't allow her to go to school. He let her attend the first grade, but that was all. She was made to stay home and tend the babies plus whatever else her parents had her do. I don't recall her ever saying anything positive about her childhood. Her brothers were free to do whatever they wanted, but she was treated like a maid. Her own father would accuse her of immorality. One time even poured a "slop bucket" (what people used back then to use the bathroom in during the night) over her head calling her a whore. She was only sixteen. It's no wonder she married so young. She taught herself to read and write and desired to be a RN. She wanted so much to be educated, I think her inner spirit was very wounded and her self image extremely low. She was, even so, a proud, strong-willed human being who pressed on trying to improve herself and offer a better life to her children and grandchildren. Like I said, she did the best she could.
Grandmother was an unforgettable character. She was a drama queen to beat all drama queens! This made for some hilarious moments. For instance, if she got upset with anyone at the dinner table she would jump up, grab her plate, utensils, glass, whatever and in the trash can it would go!! She would then march to the living room and pout hoping someone would come and try to persuade her to return to dinner. No one ever did, of course. Instead, we would try to squelched the laughter that was bubbling up from all of us kids. Poor Grandmother, she never did get any sympathy from any of us. Grandaddy would say, " Now, Hollis, calm down." which she never did. If you were on the phone and she wanted to use it, she would pull the telephone wire out of the wall if you didn't move fast enough to please her. Needless to say, we didn't have many dishes, glasses, utensils and was often with out a phone.
All in all, it was never dull at home. We all used to hope and pray that her soap opera's went well everyday. I could tell the moment I walked in the door from school if her favorite TV characters had a bad day. Whooo...you had better tow the line or else. For Jerry it was usually "else."